I have many feelings pent up inside it seems like lately...I think this blogging thing will help release them. I should be writing a paper that is due at midnight but I just want to write instead (about things actually pertaining to my life). I am confused and stressed and I am just having a hard time letting my life go on it's course. I want to know what happens. I want to see myself in 5 years to see where I'll be. But I know that is where God comes in. I just need to trust him and let him guide me.
I want to see who will be a part of my life: I know every person comes into your life for a reason, but will the ones I care about most now stay there?
I don't know what I want. I feel agitated and not myself and I am not really sure what to do about it. Therefore, I've decided that I should pray more. Deciding is one thing, actually acting upon it is another.
I need to be straightforward and honest with people and not hold my feelings in (because that always gets me in trouble-since I end up exploding). I want to be totally carefree, loving, fun, and totally happy again. And sadly, I haven't felt that for quite awhile. I have my occasional wonderful days, but then there are some days where I question everything. Absolutely everything, and every action. Why do I do this? I need a break-thank goodness spring break is coming soon. I hope that will help me. But then again, I thought winter break would help me and it didn't do much good. I am still questioning everything. Am I supposed to be in this position right now? Should I move on with my life? Is this what I truly want? This is where my trust should come in. A trust that has been shattered into a million tiny pieces. I want that trust back so desperately, but very little has been done for me to get that trust back. I suppose I am just unsure as to what I should do. Pray for me.
